A walk on the dark side
by Landgravine
Summary: I'll publish here some short stories containing angst, despair and not so happy-endings. That can include (major) character deaths. First story: What we lost in the fire
1. What we lost in the fire Ch 1

Sometime after 4x10. This takes only the idea of the mind wipe but isn't other wise connected to season four.

* * *

Alex Danvers had a long day. Two alien-related incidents needed her attention the third was covered by Colonel Haley. But now she was ready for sisters' night and headed to Kara's apartment. She tried the door handle and it opened. "Why doesn't she ever lock the door?", Alex asked herself.  
"Kara, it's me", she shouted as she entered the room while she was carrying to bags with takeout. Suddenly she recognized the smell of smoke and burned things.  
"What's that awful smell? Did you try to cook?", she chuckled trying to suppress an uneasy feeling and put the bags on the counter.

"I guess, that's me", a familiar voice said.

Alex turned around and saw James on the couch. His head was lowered and his Guardian suit was spotted with burn holes. Alex felt fear rising in her.  
"What did happen to you? … Where's Kara?" Alex asked. She knew something was not right. James rose his view and looked Alex in the eyes. Still he hesitated to say something. She watched him tensed. Finally he cleared his throat.  
"We followed a hint. Big story. … big disaster. … Kara is … Kara is gone" he nearly whispered, his voice shaking.

"What do you mean by 'gone'?" Alex asked trembling and furious at the same time. She knew what he meant – his face, his body language left no doubt about it. While her brain tried to make sense of his words she was still standing in the middle of the room.

"Alex, she's dead.", he stammered. "Kara is dead. Supergirl is dead", he repeated as he had to remind himself of this.

"No", Alex said in disbelieve and denial. She made some steps in his direction.

"Yes. … I can't … can't believe it myself. … and I was there. That I made it…" James said looking painful.

Alex made some fast steps and grabbed the remains of his suit. "James, what happened? What happened to Kara?"

"A source told us about an underground enterprise keeping aliens like slaves. A place copying designer clothes. We went there together with Supergirl. We even called J'onn for support. They were indeed manufacturing cheap clothes there but only to cover the shippings of their real goods. Weapons. Based on alien technology and extremly deadly. They were working on artificial kryptonite, too."

"Cadmus?", Alex asked scared.

"Don't know. But it must have been a trap. We found the materials, some caged aliens, others with depowering devices. But no guards. Suddenly there was a huge boom. Everything went yellow and green."

"Kryptonite explosion? The fire at Cinamon Street? ", Alex concluded with a shiver. The incident Haley had covered.

"Yes. Chaos everywhere. I was out for … I don't know. When I woke up there was fire everywhere. I was looking for the others. Couldn't see a thing because of the smoke. I stumbled forwards. Then I found Supergirl. She was smashed under a three-meter-shelf, spiked with Kryptonite and surrounded by green-flames…", he began to tremble by retelling. Alex let go of his suit and sat next to him. She was torn between on the one hand comforting James and giving him the time he needed to tell but on the other hand getting to know the fate of her sister.

"She was coughing blood and shouted with her dying voice at me to get out. … She knew I couldn't lift the shelf and that the fire was spreading to other flammable materials. It was the storeroom for Kryptonite. It must have been a set up. ... Suddenly there was J'onn and I never saw him so afraid."

"The White Martians used fire to kill the green." Alex explained.

"K… Supergirl shouted at him to open the cages and get me out. He was wavering but then did so. Then he ran back in the expanding fire because he did not want to leave someone behind. Then everything blew up", James told her.

Alex eyes widened.  
"J'onn … too?"

"No, he got blown out. But he has serious injuries. We brought him to one of Lena's labs. Brainy is helping her to get him stabilised."

"But what happened to Kara?"

"She was between me and J'onn" that was not a lie "She must have been in the centre of the explosion. … We didn't find her. … You know about the heat of a kryptonite fire…"

She didn't know exactly the definite temperature. What James described sounded like an inferno – with her little sister in the centre of it. Denial kicked in.  
"But she has not been found yet?" Alex asked almost begging. "They are still working at the crime side"

James head was like a roller coaster. Now, after Kara was gone, should he tell Alex the truth, what she knew before the mind wipe – that Kara and Supergirl were the same person? Was the purpose of Alex' sacrifice gone or should the secret be kept to keep Alex safe?  
"No. But there's just dust. Mountains of dust. No human being will get there out alive. Not even Supergirl did", he cried. "I'm so sorry"


	2. What we lost in the fire Ch 2

Thanx for your reviews and following me through this story. I guess the dark autumn made me write it

* * *

L-Corp, forty minutes later

"J'onn has almost died because he didn't want to leave Kara and Supergirl behind. Almost 65% of his skin are burned", Lena said and shook her head.

"Where's sense of this? Kara burned to death in there and will never have a place to rest. Supergirl's dead body is next door and who knows if he'll get through. And that's because someone wanted to finish Supergirl off", she said her voice trembling by sadness and anger. Keeping J'onn Jones alive was the only thing that kept her from breaking down or bursting in anger.  
Brainy didn't know what to say. He was filled with all these unknown emotions and tried to put them in boxes but wasn't successful. He looked through the observation window into the room where Supergirl was still lying on a table. They had put a cover over her hurt body but hadn't been able to cover her face nor to switch off all of the sunlamps which hadn't been able to relieve her. The twelve-level-intellect knew that this body had stopped being alive by definition four hours, two minutes and 48 seconds ago. Nevertheless covering her head would mean to accept the permanence of this. It would mean to protect the living from the manifestation of death. He thought that was a very cowardly thing to do.

Lena's phone buzzed and yanked them out of their thoughts.  
"It's Alex and James", she explained. Some minutes later both were approaching Lena. Alex looked devastated. She walked steady towards Lena but it was clear that she was holding back. Lena couldn't imagine how Alex was feeling because herself felt like being drugged. She approached the elder Danvers sister and they engulfed in a silent but big and long embrace.  
"Whoever did this will regret it", Lena said.

"They will", Alex pressed. But right now she had other priorities "How is J'onn?"

"He is sleeping at the moment. I got him stable but his vitals are stagnating. Maybe you have a solution to make him better?"

"I hope so", Alex answered worried. Lena showed her to a little lab and put the martian's medical record on a screen as well as the live data recorded from the medical machines he was attached to.

"I'm in lab three, J'onn is in lab four. If you need something just dial _three_"Lena said and pointed to the phone. "I'll do", Alex replied and started to go through J'onn's data.

Lena turned to James who was standing lost in the hallway. "Hey, it's time you let yourself be properly treated, too. Go to lab three get off the suit so that I take care of your burnings and cuts. The meds we gave you can't prevent an infection if your wounds haven't been cleaned."

James didn't move. "Hey, there's no use in you collapsing on the floor here", Lena tried to assure him and to push him softy into the direction of the lab. He walked reluctantly but froze when he passed the lab with Supergirl.

"That is all my fault", he stammered in horror.

"No, it isn't. … But you are needed to sort out whose it is and help take care of your friends. We are all hurt and devastated but now we must stand tall for Kara and Supergirl – but also for the living, for J'onn, for Alex, okay?", Lena convinced him.

"Okay", he sighed and followed her.

Brainy hid himself for a while but finally took the courage and went to Alex in the lab.

"I can't tell you how sorry I am that I wasn't capable to help all of them", he stuttered.

Alex could see the distress in his face but couldn't keep herself from asking:  
"Did you know this was going to happen?"

"No. There was no prediction", he replied. There was silence for a moment.  
"Colonel Haley has ordered me to the crime scene. You're given time off and are not allowed to interact in this investigation however I'm ordered to inform you", Brainy explained.

"Thank you. Please talk to James about that source. Maybe you can track back who framed them. I will look after J'onn"

* * *

When Alex left the lab and headed to J'onn she stopped at the observation window of the room where Supergirl was lying. The hero looked like she was sleeping but as a professional Alex noted her lack of movement. She had to think of the myth that death and sleep were brothers. Had the hero believed that there could be a situation that made her second winner? Supergirl had told her that she was vulnerable too but Alex never thought that she could be killed. It left her with a sting. Besides her mixed feelings about the might of the girl of steel Alex had to admit the alien had used her powers for good. She came when she was called for – unfortunately her calling became that of Kara, too.

"Did you inform her cousin about her passing?", Alex asked James who had silently come near her and continued "She is entitled to a proper funeral or whatever the Kryptonian custom is and not to be analysed by scientists who needed to know how Superman could be defeated. I'm not sure if Colonel Haley will go this far but I don't want to risk it. … At least they have a body to care for"'

"Superman is still on Argo, like Supergirl's mother. Without a portal or spaceship there's actually no way to reach them. Brainy said he will try to figure out whether it's possible that someone takes J'onn's ship to get to them or to build a portal to Argo" James explained. It broke his heart that Alex was talking about Supergirl like someone she was getting to know. He wished he could tell her and hated the cruel lie he and Brainy made up about Kara's body.

"Are there other people who need to know? It would be cruel if they learn it from the news … Oh, god I've got to call my mom", Alex exclaimed realizing that her own grief and sorrow kept her from telling Eliza.

"We covered it, Alex", James told her "We called her and Lena sent a helicopter to get Eliza."

"Thanx guys. Kara is, we are lucky having friends like you", she sobbed and James took her in his arms.

* * *

J'onn was lying in a special bed covered with bandages disinfecting and cooling his burnings. He was tossing around his head – because of the physical and the emotional pain. He had been too late – 120 sec too late.  
He had been told that history couldn't repeat but happen in variation. For 15 years he kept an eye on Kara and her sister like he promised Jeremiah Danvers. The interaction with her in the last three years made her completely his surrogate daughter. He didn't fail an assignment he failed his earth family.  
Alex watched him for several minutes through the window. She needed the time to get herself together. She felt crushed by the loss of Kara and was concerned that she could lose J'onn, too. She tried to pull herself together and entered the room.  
"Hey, J'onn. It's me, Alex." She approached the bed and wanted to take his hand but she had to realize that they both were badly affected.

"Alex", he coughed. He opened his eyes. One look at her and J'onn knew she was trying to show him a brave face. But the traces of tears gave her away.

"I was too late. … If I had been there two minutes earlier" he mumbled. It was hard for him to look her in the eyes.

"J'onn, don't blame yourself. You need to rest." Alex said. After going through the data Lena had given her she knew how critical the Martian's condition was. She didn't even want to think about losing him either. His guilt and grief were no benefit for the healing process.

"You did everything you could. You saved James and all these aliens. … You recovered Supergirl's body"

"But Kara … I'm so sorry.", he sobbed.

"J'onn, I know you long enough to be sure you did everything that was possible. You taught me that it is not always possible to save everyone. … Even it's someone you really care for", she added shaking.

TBC


	3. What we lost in the fire Ch 3

Thanx Jennifer Baretta!  
So much for my planned one-shot, I guess I need two chapters to finish it.

* * *

Alex was standing on a balcony and gazing into the night. In this part of the city it was almost dark only a few lights could be seen. And it was unfamiliar silent. It was  
the first time since two and a half hours she had the opportunity to process what happened. Everything had been right for her until she entered the apartment. How long had Kara been dead then? What was Alex doing in the exact moment? Alex closed her eyes and leaned against the railing. She inhaled the cool air and asked herself again and again if she wasn't supposed to feel that her sister was gone before being told? Desperately she tried to remember their last conversation and if she told her sister that she loved her. Lost in her thoughts she got surprised when Lena appeared behind her and said "I guess we both could use a drink" Alex turned astonished.  
"It's just coffee" the CEO sighed "I know we need a clear head and to stay up for a while" she said and handed Alex a cup.

"Thank you." she took a sip and looked at Lena. "Although I would prefer a scotch, too. … When did we become so responsible?", Alex asked.

"That's my main impression of you. … Maybe that's why you were put in charge of a shady government organisation…"

"Tell that the president and … James and Kara", Alex said and asked herself why they hadn't called her, too.

"They didn't trust Haley – that had nothing to do with you. They wanted to provide quick help and keep you out of trouble I guess.… You blame yourself because you weren't there, don't you? … That's ridiculous. " Alex opened her mouth only to be cut off by Lena who continued "If you had been there then what? … You would have prevented everything?"

"We will never know"

"Alex, you could have been hurt or … dead too" Lena said with emphasis.

"Because I'm so responsible I just want to yell at somebody … but I know it won't help", Alex explained.

"Well, I'm here if you want to follow this urge. At least the main explosion was caused by artificial Kryptonite", Lena said and looked down.

"Do you have still Kryptonite? … Was it your Kryptonite?", Alex asked distraught.

"No my stock is complete. But the one from the crime scene is as pure as mine but less stable. … I proofed that it is possible to make artificial K. … I saw the damage first hand this stuff does … just how it drained Supergirl of every life force… we weren't able to get rid of all the pieces … I was able to provide destruction but not redo it … she basically died in J'onn's arms on the scene we were not able to relieve her … regardless how many shards we extracted", Lena told sadly.

"The kryptonite gas had doubtless great impact on her system, too. … Sorry to correct you in that but your mother had created artificial K before. You were just more successful in it", Alex said and continued "and the bad guys have been always aiming to do this. To have a ultimate weapon against Supergirl and Superman. However if it was a normal day I would yell at you for keeping this stuff"

"You should. Its likes killed Kara and hurt J'onn badly", Lena argued.

"Actually I would yell at Kara why she was so reckless to go in there … blame James and Supergirl why they had not hinder her … "

"James is already blaming himself"

"I know. And I don't want to upset him more … I know he's hurting"

"Yeah, and we tend to forget that Kara was an adult. She made her choice to go there. And you know why: because she wanted to help … because she had compassion… because she was on a crusade for truth" Lena added. "And I'm angry at her too … for leaving us", she said whispering the last part.

"Alex, do you read me?"

"What is it Brainy?"

"We got a description of the boss of the facility and we got a phantom sketch. I'll send it to L-Corp"

"Okay, Brainy. Wait a second, we just move to a screen" Alex said and turned to Lena "They got a phantom sketch" Together they headed to an office and texted  
James who was handling CatCo business in one of Lena's offices.

"Here we are Brainy", Alex said.

"Here it is" he said and the sketch appeared on the screen "I just started facial recognition program"

"You don't need it" Lena said. "That is Vincent Sinclair … he is Veronica Sinclair's brother"

"Roulette's brother?" Alex asked.

"Yeah. Didn't write Kara a story about Veronica selling people to a slave planet and that she was beaten by Supergirl there?", Lena asked.

"I remember being on Slaver's Moon one time but the details are blurry", Alex replied. She felt that there was something more to it but couldn't lay a finger on it.

"Brainy, have we any intel if Veronica Sinclair aka Roulette has returned from Slaver's moon?", Alex asked via the comm.

"No, but in the future there is a legend that she was kept a prisoner till the end by the Dominators because of her failure" Brainy told.

"So this was revenge on Supergirl?", Alex asked.

"Well, you forget they were lured there via CatCo. So maybe this was on Kara, Supergirl or maybe on CatCo in general", Brainy concluded "When James gets to you, ask him if he recognises Vincent"

"Have you intel on his whereabouts?" Alex asked.

"Well there are several addresses and I will run facial recognition for all public cameras", Brainy said.

"Do it secretly. And when you got something pass the info only to me. I don't want to risk him getting away", Alex advised him.

"But if you withhold the information from NCPD or the DEO you will risk that he will get away … Alex, even if Haley has the oversight she is eager to figure out what happened and more important many agents declared they want do anything to help the investigation – due to respect to you and your loss – regardless what Haley will order", he tried to reason her.

"Give me a head start if anything serious comes up!" Alex yelled at the Twelve-Level-Intellect.

"But Alex, that doesn't mean he alone is responsible. Why should he blow …"

He was cut off by an alarm blaring.

"It's J'onn!" Lena shouted and ran off to his bedside with Alex on her trail.

**TBC**


	4. What we lost in the fire Ch 4

Thanx for the interest in the story.  
Well, ending this takes me longer than I've planned. I guess it turns into a (little) sadgasm, I hope I don't start rambling. I'm still struggling with the format, some hints?

* * *

"This was a close call. And he's again getting worse" Lena said with concern and pointed to the monitors.

"Yeah." Alex sighed. "I need to show you something. I was working on a drug that should allow me to put J'onn in a medical introduced coma."

"And everybody is questioning my ethics?", Lena remarked.

"Several months ago he was badly hurt after a combat with a white Martian and in so much pain. If he was human, one had put him into a coma to let his body recover

and spare him the pain. Brainy, could you provide me with access to my files at the DEO?", Alex asked via the com.

"Sure Director", he answered.

* * *

While Alex and Lena prepared the drug for J'onn Eliza was finally arriving at L-Corp.

"James", Eliza just greeted with a weary smile as he welcomed her on the roof.

"Eliza", he replied and embraced her. "I'm so sorry"

She got out of the hug. "Well, I've feared for over three years to get a call like that but when it happens…", she shook her head and bite her lip fighting for composure.

"How are you, James?", she asked and scanned his patched up appearance.

"Just some surficial scratches. … I guess I'm the lucky one", he swallowed.

"What about J'onn", Eliza asked concerned.

"He is not healing. Lena and Alex are working on a drug to send him in a coma so that he has not to endure so much pain and can regain his strength"

"Maybe I can provide help" Eliza offered.

"Well, lets go to the main area and catch up with them"

They went down the hallway in silence for a while then Eliza stopped and said: "I've been to the crime scene. There was barely a clue that there was warehouse once.

…" she paused "But I didn't know where … and couldn't ask", Eliza stammered and trembled a bit.

"She was with J'onn … in the end. She wasn't alone", James replied with emphasis while his eyes got wet. They continued their way, arrived at the main lab level and

James offered "I will go and get Alex"

"No, it's okay. Just find out if I can be of any assistance. But I need to talk to Brainy, please. I have to know if there is a possibility we could tell the truth to Alex. I don't

think I will be able to lie to her in this situation but I don't want to put her wellbeing in danger because of selfish reasons", Eliza explained.

"I've been tempted to tell her several times today.", James admitted. "It's tough for her to think that Kara has been burned there. But me and Brainy had to follow

through this since we called Lena to help Supergirl"

Eliza looked at him and nodded. "Before we deal with this, can you bring me to Kara, please", she asked him. He nodded and showed her to the lab. Someone had

closed the blind of the observation room but had not been able to switch off the light. James opened the door for Eliza and let her enter. He stayed behind in the

doorframe unsure if it would be better to offer support to Eliza or to give her privacy but left reluctantly when his phone buzzed. 

"Oh, dear god", Eliza exclaimed and froze. Although she knew for hours that Kara was dead the image in front of her shattered her heart into pieces. She had many

nightmares about losing one of the girls but reality was more brutal than imagination could have been. She needed a minute to come to motion and to near Kara's still

form which was still covered except her face. Eliza touched Kara's cheque and her fingers stopped at every bruise. Her foster mother took a chair and sat down.

Carefully she lifted the cover and took one of Kara's hands in her own. "Oh Sweetie, you don't deserve this. …I've always feared that something like that would be the

reward of your kindness. … " , she sobbed. There was so much spinning in Eliza's head: she tried to hold herself together for Alex' sake but the pain about this

inconceivable loss hit her like a tidal wave and she let her tears flow freely. She recalled their last meeting in Midvale when they sat till 2 AM on the porch and talked.

"I wish I had prevented Alex from the mindwipe. I wish I had tried harder. I should have suggested to go to Argo", Kara sighed.

"As much as I would have wanted that Alex hadn't done that months ago you decided that your home is on earth for a reason", Eliza replied.

"Yeah, I realised that Earth is my home and you guys are my family … and at the beginning of all this children of liberty crap I didn't want to let them win … poison my

home … but the price is maybe too high … now people again fear me and Alex could go insane … our relationship is strained as I have to keep my Supergirl persona

from her … if the DEO finds out my identity Alex and you will be in danger", Kara sighed.

"That is your decision. On the one hand I would be relieved to know you are safe on the other hand I would be worried because I know that you want to change the

situation and wouldn't be able to do it from there therefor unhappy", Eliza said. "But I will fully support you, Sweetie. Regardless of what you chose"

"You are right. I would leave the other aliens behind with the situation", Kara concluded.

"That was not what I'm saying", Eliza shook her head.

"And I would leave Alex behind and her sacrifice would be in vain"

"It was Alex' decision … to protect you. But she couldn't anticipate what would happen after that. So if you are of the opinion that there will be a better outcome if you

leave you should do that. Looking for cover is not a bad thing to do"

"Not everyone has a place to go back to. But if I keep on fighting and help to end the hatred maybe there will be sooner a situation which allows us to think about how

to undo this mindwipe", Kara said with emphasis. Eliza sighed and hugged Kara "You two are too brave for your own good" They sat there in comfortable silence and

watched the stars till Kara fell asleep leaning on Eliza. 

Although the topic of their conversation was serious Eliza had enjoyed this evening because she was grateful that she was praised with such caring daughters even

when she had always feared that they would break some day from the responsibilities they carried on their shoulders.

Now sitting here and holding Kara's lifeless hand she asked herself whether she should have tried more to convince Kara to return to Argo. Even if everybody would

have been unhappy and Kara had to give up her civilian life but her daughter would be alive.


	5. What we lost in the fire Ch 5

James paced in the office while he listened on the phone to Phil Anderson, his deputy assistant manager.

"James, we either need you or Ms. Luthor here or at least the permission and a line what to tell. Law enforcement wants to speak to you about Guardian and asks  
about Kara Danvers's assignment. But more important there are rumours that Supergirl and Kara Danvers were killed. There are eyewitnesses claiming they saw a lifeless Supergirl being carried in an ambulance and you limping in, too. … Please James, many colleagues are deeply worried about you and Kara and we're getting more and more calls by other media"

"I'm sorry Phil for leaving you without instruction. You are in charge as long you don't hear otherwise from us. … Tell the colleagues that it is true … Kara …she is gone. She was near the centre of the explosion. No remains have been found yet but it's not possible that she survived – the heat of the Kryptonite fire is extreme", James explained. He wished that they could have come up with something less devastating. Again and again telling this story was painful.

"Oh god. That's horrible", Phil exclaimed.

"Well, her mother just arrived. When Kara's sister is here to be with her I'll come over to CatCo"

"Sure. … What about Supergirl?"

"She has been severely injured", James lied.

"But she will survive?" Phil asked.

James paused but then replied "It doesn't look good"

"So we will be busy spreading bad news for the next days. …Will we get it exclusively when it happens?" Phil asked only to be ashamed of himself in the next moment. "Sorry, reflex from my tabloid time"

"We will only publish the obvious – that Supergirl was hurt in the explosion. There should be no speculation about anything else"

"But we have an assignment to report even if we don't like the news. Besides there are rumours that this was a setup for Supergirl"

"I'm in touch with my sources in law enforcement to confirm this. Before there is proof won't report about it. There is so much tension already – I don't to blow up the city with these news before it is safe to say"

"But …"

"No, buts. We will have the whole story and do it right"

"What about Kara?"

"Confirm it. Get me Nia Nal. She shall provide a text about Kara if she's able to – I will cowrite it. Try to reach Cat Grant. If Supergirl dies she shall write the obituary."

"Okay boss. … Oh that again. There's an alien that want to talk to you – only you"

"Okay. Pass it through and give Nia the assingment. Bye"

"Mr. Olsen? Or should I call you Guardian?", the voice asked.

"Olsen is fine. To whom do I speak?"

"Just call me Blue"

"Okay Blue. How can I help you?"

"Well, I thought we could help each other to gain two important things: Answers and justice."

"I don't understand"

"With a little help I was able to get hold of the person who kept me as a slave and hurt your friends!" he paused "Meet Vincent Sinclair!" he said and a buzz announced an incoming mail. James opened the link which was in the message and saw the video of a bruised and terrified man chained to a chair.  
James was speechless.

"Olsen are you still there? Please change to conference mod … You see we got the bastard. Now we will hear the whole truth who was with in this slavery scheme and why he did blow up the whole place with us in it … killed Supergirl … You can look him in the eyes, Jimmy, and ask him why he did this. …We will get truth and then justice for all … and you can tell it to the world!"

James had to process what Blue was telling him. To what Blue invited him.

"Supergirl and the Martian aren't dead. And they never would…"

"Of course she is. I'm an empath, Olsen. She left this world minutes after the Martian got her out …. why do you want to sell me that shit?", Blue asked angrily.

"The authorities are already asking for her and as you know not all of them are trustworthy, her family needs time to get here and I fear the criminals parading through the streets when they know she is dead", James reasoned.

"That is very honourable of you. But where's the respect to your friends? To the public? Don't you want to know why he did it, do you?"

"Of course I want. But I do know that Supergirl wouldn't have liked that kind of justice you have in mind"

"Well, if you want to show us another way you have to come down here, Olsen. We'll meet at the dive bar. If you don't show up there within an hour we deal alone with Sinclair. Think about it", Blue said and the screen went black.  
For a moment James was frozen but then he took his phone and dialled Phil.

"Hey Phil, please send me my camera and my dictation to the dive bar at 3rd street."

"Do you need a reporter or a photographer with you?"

"You will get a very personal piece from me within the day. See you, Phil"

"You must be kidding me!" Lena yelled suddenly behind him.  
James spun around and looked surprised at an angry Lena.

"It is not like I asked for this. But I can't let them kill him. I need to know why Vincent did this, for me, for us"

"I get this. But slipping away without backup? Are you insane?"

"There is nobody left. You and Alex are needed to help J'onn and Brainy has to report to Haley, there is no other way"

"Of course there is. I agree with you to keep Alex out of this but I'm free to go"

"That is not an option, Lena!"

"Either you take me or you call Brainy. He has gotten better in deception"

"If he fails and the DEO marches in there, there will be a bloodbath" James said and tried to pass Lena by.

"You take me with you and before we go we make a plan. Or you are going nowhere" Lena replied.

"There is no time for this discussion. I need to go", James shouted angrily.

"Don't be so fast", Lena said and pulled a gun and pointed it at James.

"Now you are kidding me", James replied "You won't shoot me"  
"You get a bullet in every leg to prevent your suicide mission, I swear" Lena said "You know Luthors like to think out of the box" James looked in her face and knew that she meant business.

"So what now?", he asked.

"Call Phil and cancel the delivery. I will make some quick preparations and leave a note for Eliza and Alex. Don't think about sneaking out I put the building under lookdown"

She walked down the floor with quick steps heading to her personal armoury when she heard the sobbing of a woman. She followed the sound to a familiar room and stepped silently in the doorframe. When Lena saw Eliza crying at the side of Supergirl's body she was irritated. She never knew that the oldest Danvers was so close to the Kryptonian. Or did she just project her pain? While she was holding one of the hero's hands she tried with the other trembling one to tug a reluctant strand of hair behind Supergirl's ear. But when Lena neared and watched the scene closely it became clear to her: Eliza Danvers wasn't mourning a close friend … she was crying for her child.


	6. What we lost in the fire Ch 6

Thanx for following this.

* * *

Lena's mind tried to make sense out of this conclusion: Did the Danvers raise Supergirl in secret? Was this the reason Kara and Alex had the Kryptponian on speedial?Like in trance Lena stepped forward till Eliza noticed her presence and turned around.

"Lena, thank you for bringing me here … for helping everyone…" she caught the distraught expression on Lena's face "Are you okay … as far as one can be right now?"

"You raised Supergirl?", she stammered.

Eliza wasn't sure if the CEO was mocking her or if she still didn't figure it out.  
"Kind of. Supergirl was an identity, a symbol", Eliza admitted unsure what to do. "I took care of a child and told her not to be a hero", she sighed.  
"I told her to keep her true self covered. My husband and Alex' told her, too. … We wanted her to be safe"

'and what about Kara?' Lena asked herself. But she realized that she never saw Kara and Supergirl together. Several times she worked or met with Alex and Supergirl but Kara was never around. Now Lena stood next to Eliza and looked straight into Supergirl's face. Her mind was spinning. Something was hidden in plain sight.

Eliza noticed the confused look on the CEO's face and followed her instincts.  
"It's the mind that fools you" Eliza said and took her own glasses out of her pocket and held them over Supergirl's face. Lena couldn't believe it even after seeing this. That was Kara! It had always been Kara.

"Why haven't I recognised this? Even when I treated her wounds? … Why didn't she tell me?", Lena burst out.

"Lies of the mind … Alex doesn't … didn't recognise her either … and she knew"

"What? That's ridiculous. Alex would have known … She blamed Supergirl for letting Kara go there…good show"

"Because she doesn't know"

"Kara didn't trust me… And everyone else here? James, Brainy and J'onn. They took my help … They used me … They all made a fool of me … even in this situation… in my own building"

Eliza rose and made step towards Lena. "Kara was an alien but she was human like we all. Maybe even more like anyone else. After you fought with Supergirl about the Kryptonite she was afraid to lose her best friend. For a long time she would rather keep your friendship as Kara than telling you. But after Mercy attacked you she was searching a way to tell you. … Then the president demanded to know her identity and Colonel Haley left no doubt about that they would use Supergirl's next of kin and friends to blackmail her. So she quit. … But they kept digging and came up with an alien that prevented humans from lying." Eliza took a deep breath "So all agents who knew Kara's identity had her minds wiped of that information. … And Alex did too because she wanted to stay at the DEO – to protect Kara and the other aliens"

The CEO didn't know what to reply but finally found her voice. "So that's why Kara and Alex drifted?"

"Yeah. … I don't know if I can tell Alex now … she could go insane"  
Lena's mind was racing.  
"But that means Kara needed a friend even more!" Lena shouted

"She didn't want to jeopardize you and she didn't want to lose another important person in her life" Eliza explained. "Lena, I'm sorry I shouldn't have put that on you. That was selfish"

"It wasn't on you to tell this", the CEO replied and fell in silence. She was standing still but inside her was a storm consisting of different feelings raging: There was some much anger because she was betrayed by everyone. Disappointment because the person she thought was her confident didn't trust her all the way. But she was consumed with sadness either: she wasn't able to save her closest friend who had died by the thing she feared most: Kryptonite.

"Lena?", James entered the room and sensed that something had happened there.  
"Are you alright? We need to hurry!"  
Lena looked at him and made a decision. Even if her image of Kara was destroyed and she asked herself if she really had known her at all she had to admit that the side she had known was worth the promise she made to Alex – to make the persons involved pay. … And it would give her the opportunity to distract herself instead of yelling at everybody and throwing them out of the building.  
"Thank you, for the talk Eliza. We will continue later" she said.

"What are you two up to?" Eliza asked concerned. "Lena, you shouldn't leave right now. Take your time to calm down and to settle"

"When Alex is done with J'onn she will come around. Everything will be fine … as fine as everything can be right now – right James?"

"Lena. What is going on? Are you fine to go? I can go alone"

"James, I made several promises today and I'm true to them", she said cryptically and turned to Eliza "See you Eliza. We'll be back soon" and shove James out the door and locked it.

* * *

Meanwhile in the same building...

"Alex, before I allow you to do this, I have to show you something in case your drug will send me to my ancestors", J'onn coughed.

"Not much confidence in my medical skills, eh", Alex chuckled suppressing her tears.  
"What is it? Where is it?", she asked.

"Something about your sister. Her last words to you"

"What? I was told you weren't able to find her after the first explosion", Alex was confused.

"Sit. I will show you", J'onn said and held out his hand to Alex' head.  
"First I will give you some memories back however that are just mine"

He showed her how Supergirl woke up after she had been captured by the DEO and her reaction to Alex presence. When Supergirl gave her the necklace during myriad wave – Kara's necklace. Alex' desperation when J'onn brought in Kara after the atmosphere was seeded with Kryptonite, Alex saying that she wouldn't lose her sister at this day.

"How is that possible?" Alex said in surprise. She felt that it was no imagination, she felt the Deja-vu. "Oh my god, how was this gone from my memory?"

"You wanted me to wipe it out when Haley wanted Supergirl's identity."

J'onn showed her the last moments knowing about Kara's alien heritage and Alex' sacrifice of the mind wipe. She was flooded with memories of her and Kara that were connected to the ones the Martian had transferred to her.  
Alex was already trembling and J'onn exhausted.

"I have to warn you. This will be tough.", the Martian said.  
Alex saw Supergirl – her sister - buried underneath the shelf and surrounded by the raging Kryptonite fire. J'onn was flying through the fire and landed next to the blonde woman.

"J'onn, …, what are you doing, leave before you get hurt", she coughed.

A little blue creature was standing by his side and sent a blue streak against the fire so J'onn was able to take the bars of Kara before the fire raged again.  
"Ouch", he screamed. Again the little alien sent his freeze breath to the fire so the Martian could take Supergirl in his arms.

She just sighed in pain. "Don't. … Get out"

Again they were surrounded by green flames when a freeze stopped the flames for some seconds.  
"Sorry, that was my last one" the blue alien said and ran out.

Kara was sighing. Her body had burning wounds and was spiked with Kryptonite. J'onn tried to fly but was too weak so instead began running. He felt the wave of the fire storm behind him and the burst of the explosion catapulted them through a wall. The Martian shielded her body with his own. Immediately he rolled himself from her but he saw life flossing from her.

"Help" he shouted desperately in the dark alley. J'onn kneeled beside her and between gasping for air she gave him a sign to come near. He took the remains of his cape and placed it under her head and took her hand.

"Where's James?" she whispered concerned.

"He's at the other side of the building. He's fine... He's coming", J'onn replied. She sighed and smiled at him with relief.

"Thank you J'onn, for everything you did for me and Alex. … Please take care of her. Tell her … she was the best sister I could have dreamed of … in the whole universe.", she tried to chuckle but mostly coughed blood. "She … she shouldn't be mad at me or herself. If it could endanger her or make her too sad don't tell her ever about the mind wipe, only if it's in her own interest. Watch out that she will be happy… Remind her that she will have it all", she gasped for air. J'onn was trembling. "Say goodbye and thank you to my friends … Eliza… my Mom…Kal … and keep an eye on them"

"Don't you dare dying on me, Kara", he said with tears in his eyes. "Alex will never talk to me again"

"You have to be more stubborn. … I'll watch out for you from Rao's light", she groaned with a forced smile.

"We love you. Stay with us, Kara." he said although he heard her heartbeat fading. Her injured body was shutting down.  
She looked at him and opened her mouth to reply something but only a last sigh left her lips and the battered body became limp and still.

"Kara!" he exclaimed. "No"  
After that J'onn broke down himself, lost his last strength and laid next to Supergirl. Even when Brainy, Lena and a group of paramedics appeared and took care of Kara and him his tears flowed. He knew she was gone for good.

Alex felt like she was knocked down. This transition had been as intensive as it had been her own experience. The whole time she knew something was missing. How could she be so close to her sister and forgot about the reason of her fear of losing Kara? That it wasn't just the vanishing of her father and the death that was part of her job? It wasn't just a fear created by the love for her sibling – just a few months ago Supergirl – her sister – laid fading away in front of her. She had taken risks and had been a target. ... And now she was gone.

Besides the pain it was causing him J'onn took her hand. "I'm sorry that I've given you a lot more to cope. But it wouldn't be fair to you and your sister if you had never learnt the truth. I'm not sure if your memories could have been accessible by a special incident. And I don't want to risk the chance that your memories are lost forever – because your relationship to your sister made you whole and Kara vice versa." he forced a smile.  
"And your sister needs someone to say the prayer for the dead, to guide her way to Rao's light"

"How can I be whole again when she's gone?", Alex sobbed.

"Everyone who went before us takes a piece of us with them but we keep a piece of them as well", the Martian said.

"Alex, I'm missing your sister already. I'm very thankful that I had both of you in my life. Everyone would be proud of the Danvers girls to be his daughters. Alex, keep on being that responsible and kind hearted person. Fight for what do you think is right and don't forget to search a possibility to be happy. You deserve it", J'onn whispered.

"This is not goodbye, J'onn. You'll be sleeping for a while and be better than new", she chuckled but failed in suppressing her tears.  
"You take a nap and in the mean time I sort out who did this to you and Kara. We got a promising lead", Alex said with emphasis.

"Don't let your anger guide you, Alex. Neither your sister nor I want you being harmed on a revenge path.… We rushed into a trap today and paid a terrible price. More caution is needed. This time there will be no one rescuing you if you're launching to space", he said with concern.

Alex tried to withstand his gaze but looked down. "Alex, in the current situation the leader of the DEO should oversight the investigation but don't lead it. … Please promise me that you don't do anything stupid or dangerous."

"Then you have to promise me to fight and hold on. … I need you. I don't allow you to leave me, too. This is an order", Alex said.

"I'll do my very best, director", the Martian replied. "Now do it"

Alex nodded and started the drip. She sat next to the Martian till he entered the coma.  
"Come back soon", she whispered, carefully kissed an unharmed spot on his forehead and left his bedside.

* * *

We're on the finish line. Either one or two chapters to go!


	7. What we lost in the fire Ch 7

James and Lena sat silent in the car and drove to the appointment with Blue. She had brushed off every of his attempts to explain himself or the actions of the others.  
This silence scared him even more because he didn't know what she was planning. Even though he was not sure how he could help to make Sinclair confess without  
being lynched in the process or let his own anger about the loss of Kara getting the best of him James felt like bringing an extra molotov cocktail to a ammunition depot.

When Alex headed back to Lena's office she heard a damped noise. She drew her gun and sneaked through the corners. When she arrived at the source of the sound she found her mother banging on the observation window. She rushed to the door but couldn't open it.

"Mom, are you alright?", she asked concerned. Eliza motioned her that she couldn't understand her and took out her phone. Alex had put hers into silent mode and noticed several missed calls by Brainy and her mother.

"Mom, are you okay? What's going on?"

"Yes, honey. But Lena locked me in. She left with James, they are planning something. We need to find them", Eliza explained.  
Alex tried to open but the handle didn't move so she took out her gun and downgraded the intensity  
"Step back", she advised. Alex squeezed the trigger and the wing of the door popped to the ground. She stepped over the metal piece and asked "Sure you okay?"  
Eliza just nodded while Alex pulled her in a tight embrace not willing to ever let go. They neither needed words to express the pain they were in nor the little comfort of being finally together. When Alex was finally able to let go she stepped forward to Supergirl's body and took her hand.  
"Oh gosh, how did you become so good in deception? How couldn't I recognise my own sister?", she sobbed and touched shaking Kara's face.

"You remember?" Eliza asked hopefully.

"Everything. … J'onn gave me some memories back and they reconnected with many others… I was here hours ago and didn't realize it"

"Your mind was programed that you thought you knew everything about your sister from day one she came to us – like you had originally had", her mother said and put her hand around Alex' waist and leaned into her.

"If I had been stronger I had not needed that mind wipe then…"

"Stop it", Eliza cut in. "You went all the lengths to keep your sister safe. This is on this Sinclair guy. Don't ever blame yourself on this" she said and tightened her grip and tried to comfort Alex.

"I'm waiting for you to say that it's just a nightmare… that I just have to wake up", Alex admitted.

"I wish I could … I wish I could" Eliza replied and they stood for a moment in silence.  
Finally Eliza said "We need to find Lena and James. "I told her that Kara was Supergirl. She walked into me and she was so puzzeled. … I couldn't stand that. It reminded me of you. … You see, there was no truth seeker involved…only weakness and egoism", she sighed.

"Shame on our human hearts", Alex said and smiled weakly at her mother as her phone buzzed.

"Brainy"

"Alex, finally you're on air again. I've got more information about Sinclair"

"I'm all ears", she said while she stepped forward, straightened her body and wiped a tear from her eyes.

"Alex, I've got a lead. Sinclair was absolutely broke after his sister disappeared. But then three months ago it seems he got cash infusion. He bought that building, the tech and somehow he got hold of the Kryptonite"

"So you think he has a sponsor?"

"Definitely"

"Any clue where Sinclair is now?"

"No, it's like he disappeared into thin air"

"Brainy, please give me access to your investigation so that I can assist you. And we need to know what Lena and James are heading. Please track their phones"

"Are you sure? They are your friends and James is a journalist, isn't that kind of unethical?"

"They locked my mother in and rushed away. That's kind of kidnapping. Nevermind. It's obvious they're going to do something everyone is me accusing of planning…"

"Something dangerous and not level headed?" Brainy asked.

"If you want to phrase it like this, yes… Lena knows that Kara is… was Supergirl… she's in an undefinable state of mind"

"Oh…then you know again?"

"Yes, I do", she sighed

"I can't find Lena's phone. It's protected, will take some time. James is somewhere in the harbour area. He is moving slowly. Maybe walking"

"Check his last contacts. We're heading to one of the offices"

"I'll do" he answered and ended the call.

When mother and daughter entered the office they saw that the monitor was active and Alex took a seat to investigate if the computer was used lately.  
"Alex, did Lena promise you anything today?", Eliza asked concerned.

"Mhm", her daughter replied while thinking "she said the responsible people will pay…so we can be sure they're going to do something reckless"

Brainy was scrolling through James' last contacts when he had several hits in the facial recognition database. Sinclair had been very careful in public. But one could only avoid cameras if you knew where they were set. Being caught on camera by a drone owner who had loaded his pictures up in a forum surely hadn't been his plan or that of the men he was meeting with. The twelve-level-intellect knew them, the Harrow brothers! But they couldn't be here – they were from the past – his past – but future to now.

After Alex was able to restore parts of Blue's chat with James she and Eliza looked shocked at each other. The meeting would begin in five minutes.  
"How should I get there? I came here with James", Alex shouted stressed.


End file.
